By the time we reach our 20s, if we’re functional human beings with functional brains, we all already took on enough drama and trauma, in one way or another, to start shielding ourselves. We have things we say no to without any explanation, we make scenarios in our heads for exit plans from any situation, we make sure we prepare ourselves for the worst possible outcome.
Somewhere in the middle of that, we start living in the future and forget about the present. We live our lives in constant preparation of what is to come, but we forget to enjoy it. Without meaning to or wanting to, we stop ourselves from experiencing life at its full potential and instead just float on it, like a duck on a pond. Life is what happens when we’re busy making other plans and by the time the future comes, we realize we don’t have a lot to hold on to. Life is what happens while we’re busy fantasizing about where our journey might take us and when we reach there, we realize we haven’t yet experienced a lot.
The biggest step I ever made for myself was realizing I was living in that constant fear of the future. That’s what anxiety does to you, or better said, that’s what triggers anxiety. And then you’re anxious about being anxious in the future, so it’s a never-ending loop of avoiding the present. Sometimes the present sucks, that’s true – sometimes we don’t take the time and space to realize it’s not actually quite like that, it’s just our own projections that stain it.
I want to take life by the balls. Be present. Take my time and enjoy the little things, the things that seem meaningless but give me so much energy. Notice my surroundings. Notice my moods. Notice the people around me. Show gratitude for the little things that give me so much. Just live my life the way we’re intended to – now.